I Miss The Days

Midterms start tomorrow and I couldn't be any less scared shitless. I shouldn't be, I've studied hard and used my preparation time well, but it doesn't affect my anxiety whatsoever. What it really boils down to is my inability to handle stress. When an obsticle wedges itself in my way, I'm not sure how to handle it.

So, in a very Kim way to avoid the subject, I began rummaging through the box that used to be my room. That huge cardboard mass full of posters and hardly used things. I almost had to pull everything in that box out before I found what I was really looking for--my Creative Writing folder.

Every time I think about that class, I want to cry and smile at the same time. I miss it so much. It's hard going through a day without a class that you want to go to. It's terrible not having a story or poem to look forward to, and not knowing who you can cry to. I miss Jeremy, who was there to be awkward and play TapTap with. I miss the writer's block, and even Emily and Paula. Their fighting made it such a real family.

I read through my poems in chronological order. I laughed at the first poems, about Ben. They weren't even that good, but I had straight A's in that class until the very last day. It amused me that my writing got so much better throughout the year.

I find it very sad that I haven't written anything other than essays since that class. It's hard to find inspiration when I don't have anybody to write for. As a late new year's resolution, I've decided that I'm going to start writing again. It's my dream to be a journalist for a music-related magazine and to be an English teacher. I need to make this happen.

By the way, AWOL by Broadway is beautiful<3