I Miss My Big Brother.

I'm usually very easy to please. Little things make me intensely happy, like this blog has been making my day since I started it. Even though I'm the only one who reads it. However, as easy as it is to make my mood, it's as easy to break it. More than likely, it was a comment or just a small, miniscule action. I'm easy to bring down, is the point.

Recently though, I've been doing great, as long as I'm not thinking about the only depressing thing I actually can currently say. That of course, would be my loneliness for my cousin Jon. By this point, he's not even my cousin. He's my big brother, literally. Meaning I can be mad at him, he can bug the crap out of me at points.

Usually when people use the term "big brother" or "little sister" or something, they use it in the wrong way. I don't get along with my brother at all. In fact, I broke his arm when I was six. That's not important though. People use it for close friends, like my best guy friend Brybry. He calls me his sister, he's my big brother. I don't fight with him though. I never disobey or get mad at him. Therefore, this term is inaccurate.

And even if Brybry was effectively my "big brother", he wouldn't be able to replace Jon. I don't think anyone ever can to me. Jon, I think, was the first person I've ever actually really cared for, not counting my mom or anything.

I remember this one night, we were out til the sun came up. He bought me wawa: a soda and a sandwich. I then proceeded to spill the soda on the sandwich, but at two a.m., I was hungry enough to eat it. I remember the Jimmy Eat World playing, which reminds me of the Jimmy Eat World shirt I got him the one Christmas. I didn't have money, so I had to return one of my presents in order to get it for him. It was worth it.

I never thought he'd actually leave. I mean, he lived in our basement for such a long time. I got so used to him being around. I just never thought he'd be happier anywhere else, cause I was never happier at my house.

He's in Florida, with my aunt Alice and a few of my cousins. Jon, though, is the only one I feel for particularly. Not that I don't love my family...it's just...

...I miss my big brother.